Capital sins for a new generation
Today, my darlings, we are going to revamp the seven deadlies.
You. Over there. Yes, you, with the rolling eyes.
Pay attention…what is that, an iPod? Give it here, you’ll get it back at the end. Maybe.
Yes, these themes have been well played out, haven’t they? In fact, some of them have become downright contradictory. Thus, we’re going to come up with some that are more appropriate for our current lifestyles. Perhaps we’ll even retain a couple. Game on!
Perhaps now I’ve got that attention I was looking for earlier, hmm?
As our good friend television would tell us, Lust is a biggie. Oh, not a sin per se. A large part of most people’s lives. In fact, it’s become one of the leading reasons why certain shows do so well. Little House on the Prairie wouldn’t have chance during sweeps.
I assure you.
Random hookups, Friends with Benefits, and Polyamorous relationships have very much changed the face of interpersonal dynamics, with the general moral views shifting sharply.
While it’s true, the embrace of the ani-lifestyle has been somewhat of an odd upsurge lately, the vast majority of us are fat.
I myself, drink diet cola. Because I like real cake. Bombarded by advertisements to have it your way and the panic of transfats, cholesterol, and getting enough fiber…
Yeah, we eat too much, but it’s okay, if we all just have enough fiber. In this part of the world, anyway.
A measure of success is how many “things” you have. Keeping up with the Joneses. Families losing everything in the frantic struggle to live large. Most people aren’t capable of sustaining that kind of lifestyle, but will bankrupt themselves trying. Shiny new cars, gold jewelry replaced by platinum, and damn. Those grillz are just Fab-U-Lous.
We live in a computer driven world. Products constantly created to make things easier, less challenging for the average user, and don’t require us to learn how to do things for ourselves anymore. With things more user friendly, it’s up to the programmers to constantly dumb things down to the lowest common denominator. Schools pace things slowly, so that children don’t get left behind-forcing the rest of the class to crawl along and use their time to daydream that they were somewhere else.
With things this much easier, why are so many of us succumbing to road rage? Why do students decide to shoot up their schools? People are angry. ..let’s keep Wrath on the books.
We covet the things we see every day. Every day, we’re bombarded by advertisements telling us what we should want, that our sad little lives aren’t complete without overly priced computer equipment, or the Sham-wow. Should one of our friends get an iPhone before we do..secretly, we envy them for having one, and make plans to trump them later.
Once we have those things that we wanted so very badly, we give them names. Have affection for them, ritualize their uses, become angry should someone else handle them. We show them off to excess.
Now, let’s look at all of these things, in situ.
Today, while watching a couple of actors go at it on camera in ways that had me wondering who their chiropractor was, I noshed my way through a whole bag of sour cream and onion potato chips, followed by a large diet coke. Replete with the glut past, I plunked myself on the couch, grabbed my laptop and immediately lost it on my husband, who’d left greasy fingerprints on my shiny metal friend. Fleetingly, I wished I had the new blackberry, so I could send him nasty texts, but I managed to catch the cordless phone with a flailing foot, so I didn’t even have to get off the couch. This made me glad that I’d had the last of the diet coke, so I didn’t have to share. *
I think we’ve covered them all there.
Not sure I’ll be able to cover them all so neatly, with one word, but…
Borrowing things implies asking first, you know.
…could you tell me if you’re going to be late?
The best part about a fantasy is that it can take place in your head. You should never tell anyone about that clown fetish. Not ever
Do you really think that farting just as someone takes a bite of cereal is funny?
Granted, I still need to strip them down until they’re stark with meaning like the originals, but I think you get the idea.
*No. Not really. I spent the morning working out, but it sounded good, didn’t it?
I don’t have to add a don’t bullshit your audience when storytelling sin, do I?