FUN with Correlative Conjunctions
When I saw this month’s subject, I must admit, at first I was a bit perplexed. I had a few decent ideas, but hardly anything worth writing about–such is the case just about every month. While pondering all the possibilities, I stumbled across an old familiar term: Correlative Conjunction. Whereupon, I instantly flashed back to 10th grade English class and could all but smell her horrible, corpse like breath. (Yes I am aware corpses dont have breath, as a rule. Cut me some slack Jack.) Mrs. Scagnelli–I couldn’t make up a better name for her; she was a mean woman, with a repugnant personality, or lack thereof. And the world’s WORST breath. (We used to leave Certs and Breath Savers on her desk all the time; bitch couldnt take a hint.) I remember covering this back then, and realizing that these pairings of words are what allow us to add color to our everyday speech, to make comparison, and to lay out information in an easy to understand way.
So I decided why not have some fun with it? I have listed below some situations in which you could use these pairings to add to the good times. Examples are provided free of charge. Give mine a read through, and please, feel free to leave some of your own in the comment section.
both … and – Actually, I find your new companion to be both a complete shitbag, waste of air and socially inept, much like a chimpanzee that ate too many lead paint chips. So in retrospect, you are perfect together.
Example 2: In this example we use our correlative conjunctions to express out dismay over Darcy’s unfortunate family situation.
what with … and – Darcy is fucked no matter what dude, what with all her aunts, uncles and cousins being defective rednecks, people assume she is going to marry her cousin.
Example 3 The pairing of ‘rather and than’ is a wonderful tool for expressing your most intimate thoughts, in a straightforward and direct manner.
Example 4 You can also use Correlative Conjunctions to foreshadow, or predict an outcome.
If … Then – If I turned in my monthly piece on the 10th like I am supposed to, then Lee Lee would probably have a fucking stroke.
Example 5 You can also use them to point out what to many people seems like an impossibility.