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If you win the lottery, don't…

Since the age of twenty, I had been working full time.  My jobs ranged from sales, customer services, non-profit slave work,  wrestling angry children, and consulting.  The positive aspect of that work, was gaining lots of experience,  being exposed to a variety of different settings, learning how to deal with difficult people {bosses, clients, co-workers, and  occasionally myself} and the acquirement of LOTS of office supplies. {c’mon, like you have NEVER stolen anything from work}.  The negative aspect of being such a hard worker at such a young age was by the time I was 28, I was completely burned out from being a grown up. {Also known as, having a nervous break down.}  For those of you who have limited experience with nervous breakdowns, you should know that they tend to take up A LOT of time and A LOT of energy.  Eventually you need to find a solution to the problem.


So I applied to graduate school, got in, continued to have a nervous break down and decided full time work was for suckers.  {it also helped that my best friend also DECIDED that full-time work was for suckers}. I became completely obsessed with the notion that I could, in fact, save my sanity and quit working full time, and I could do all of this without becoming homeless.

I slowly started to work less and less hours until, suddenly, I no longer was required to get up at 6am, hop a train, sit on an expressway, or wear heals {wait, wait, I NEVER did that}.  My days consisted of waking close to noon, working out, hanging with my dog, reading, and watching WAY TO MUCH reality television.  This new approach to work, helped me to excel in my first year of graduate school. WHAT ELSE was I going to do besides, well, study.

SO WHAT if I couldn’t buy gas, beer, or any other luxuries {you know, like toothpaste}, I got to sleep until 11 everyday, stay up until 3am, and laugh as all those suckers ran to the train in the morning.

{insert car screeching sound here}

Then, I got, depressed.  I was grumpy, sad, frustrated, BITCHY, and eventually not too cool to be around.  Of course I blamed everything I could for this bout of  depression.  The weather, the economy, my family, school, the person who cut me off in the morning, the woman who could never make my coffee correctly at Starbucks, and of course Obama {don’t we blame him for everything?}.

After many months of analysis of myself {you know… getting stoned}, I realized I wasn’t depressed…I WAS FREAKIN BORED.  Yes, not working ACTUALLY wasn’t fun anymore.  {Remember that when you win the lottery.}

Luckily, around the time I made this realization, it was time to look for summer employment.  I quickly secured a full time job, that had a shelf life of ten weeks {I love contract work}, which was just enough time to scoop up my self-esteem off the ground, shake off the dirt, and feel grown up again.

So if you take anything from this babble let it be this: work may suck the life out of you, but at least you have somewhere to steal office supplies from.

2 responses to “If you win the lottery, don't…”

  1. llxt llxt says:

    Um…I'm missing some paper clips. Maybe you've seen them around? Like IN YOUR POCKETBOOK…!

  2. Avatar disperse says:

    When you wrestle our angry child could you please tell him Dada Duck loves him?

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