Cocktails, the Cubs & Other Complications
I wanted to write about the Bowl Championship Series in college football but that was too complicated. Besides the BCS, here is my top ten list of things that I find complicated:
10. Geometry 9. Spanish IV 8. Taxes 7. Judging for Olympic Ice Skating 6. Chicago Cubs 5. Writing in Chinese 4. Brain Surgery 3. Love 2. Politics 1. Religion
I make it a practice to avoid talking about these topics because they are too complicated except for the Chicago Cubs. The reason I can talk about the Cubs is because I am somewhat of an expert on the complicated history of this cursed team. Which brings me to this conclusion: Only someone who considers themselves an expert on a certain complicated subject feels comfortable writing or talking about that topic. So as an authority on alcohol, I offer these COMPLICATED cocktails.
C California Surfer Jagermeister Pineapple Juice Malibu Coconut Rum O Orgasm Peppermint Schnapps Bailey’s M Morning Wood Vodka Peach Schnapps Orange Juice Sour Mix Chambord (Raspberry Liqueur) P Purple Warrior Gin Southern Comfort Peach Schnapps Blue Curacao Lime Juice Grenadine Splash of Soda L Land Rover Dark Crème de cacao Dark Rum Captain Morgan Kahlua Bailey’s I Irish Car Bomb Guiness Jamison’s Kahlua Bailey’s (Bonus drink) Italian Stallion Sambuca Amaretto Frangelico C Chocolate Valentine Vanilla Vodka Dark Crème de cacao Cherry juice Splash of soda and cream A Almond Cookie Amaretto Butterscotch Schnapps T Tropical Passion Peach Schnapps Rum Sloe Gin Triple Sec Orange Juice E Elvis Presley Vodka Frangelico Crème de banana Bailey’s D Diehard Gold Rum Cinnamon Schnapps Citrus Vodka Whiskey Tequila Gin Banana juice Splash of milk
I suggest you sample 3 or 4 of these drinks, and afterwards I guarantee you will feel qualified to discuss any of the above complicated topics.
About papimcgill
I love how you specify Spanish IV, Brian–that's exactly when the subject gets hard. Another great piece! I'm going to miss these contributions when they move on to the next level.
Love this, love this. Plus, I'm all over that California Surfer this weekend—all over it.
Sadly.. my first thought when reading this was "Damn, why didn't I have this list in College? Cause that sounds like a seriously good saturday night"… then my next thought was… oh, I'm 32 not 23 … and there is NO WAY i could even get to "L" before passing out!! Great list… Going to have to find a reason to make at least … there are too many "O" jokes popping around in my head right now!!
hmm. interesting. but why didn't you include savignon blanc on here? enough of that definitely makes me an "expert" on many, many complicated subjects.