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Chick Flicks for Dicks

Love has cornered the market on clichés – All’s fair in Love and warIf you Love something set it freeLove is blindBetter to have Loved and lost than to never have Loved at all…and, of course Love is complicated. Like most of us, I’ve been in situations when friends and family dropped these (or similarly unwelcome) clichés in an attempt to comfort me. [For the future, please don’t. Just…just don’t.]

What helps me through the heartache and all the questions, rage and bullshit that comes along with Love – or more accurately, failing Love – are movies. I have a batch of go-to movies that inspire hope – perhaps not for the current shitshow, but that things might work out next time around – that I suggest you check out when your relationship is “challenging” you – or more accurately, is in the shitter/has already shit the bed.

I’m a big, furry-faced guy who loves sports, pork and beer, so I have a few {less surprising} movie choices that I turn to from time to time, like Natural Born Killers, True Lies and Forrest Gump. However, the majority of the movies I throw in are more commonly regarded as “chick flicks.” I know that the following selections won’t do much for my street cred around here, but what can I say…I’m a big softie at heart. So the next time life kicks you in the balls [or your lady bits, ladies], pop one of these movies in and enjoy:

The Notebook
It’s not just Rachel McAdams-Poopoopachu’s breakout film role. No, not at all. This masterpiece is about a young, beautiful couple finding Love one summer. The girl’s shitty family ruins it. The couple splits – the boy goes off to fight in WWII and the girl decides to marry Cyclops from the X-Men. Fate reunites them 5+ years later. Their Love is reborn and they go on to live a long, full life together, ultimately dying in one another’s arms as sick, deteriorating elders. [I undeniably have commitment issues brought about by numerous life experiences, but this movie really tugs on Poop’s ol’ heartstrings.]

A down-on-his-luck musician meets a sexy woman while performing on the streets of Dublin. Luck of the Irish – she’s an über-talented musician too! His girlfriend cheated on him, which is why he’s soul-searching on the streets of Ireland, and she’s got an estranged husband back in the Czech Republic. “Guy” and “Girl” (they’re nameless in the film) hit it off and go on to perform and record an album over the next week, all the while looking more and more like the most perfectly adorable couple in the world. They never get together, but rather decide to return to their partners in the end. Disappointing, but still uplifting. [This film’s music is fantastic, and, in fact, was nominated for an Oscar and multiple Grammy Awards.]

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Three nubile teen girls (and their less attractive friend, played by America Ferrera) part ways for the summer, each embarking on a new adventure that they’d very much rather experience together with their BFFs. [No, sadly it’s not a sexy pajama party at Poopoopachu’s pad…] Luckily they have a pair of “magical” pants that they share with one another in times of despair. What can a bunch of teens possibly need help surviving during summer vacation? Just your typical stuff – hooking up with your soccer coach, falling in love with a sworn family enemy, dealing with a new stepmom and her kids, and even coping when the Grim Reaper comes knocking. This is one helluva a pair of pants, people. But don’t worry, because {most} everything comes up Milhouse!

This is obviously as far from a scientific approach to relationship grieving that there is, but it works for me. And it might work for you too. Please share your personal movie preferences with us all down below in the Comments.

…I’ve currently got Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, Unfaithful and Dirty Dancing queued up for the next few days.

36 responses to “Chick Flicks for Dicks”

  1. Avatar WreckedUm says:

    "Showgirls" always made me feel better after a nasty breakup. Read whatever you want into that. John Cusack movies helped a bit, too. High Fidelity, Serendipity, that other one. Other than that, mostly just porn helped a lot.

  2. Avatar dar6la says:

    Apart from owning the three afore-mentioned movies myself, I also utilize "You've Got Mail" and "Love, Actually" on a regular basis. Meg and Tom make me want to go out and buy "bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils" and move to NYC, and the Prime Minister and Natalie in "Love, Actually" make me swoon (even more) for men in control of their respective countries. They also make me want to cut my hair, work in a bookstore, buy a red peacoat and enroll my kids in a school that allows lobsters present at their re-enactment of the birth of Christ.

    • USA! USA! USA!…sorry, my Canuckian friend. [I shouldn't let my excitement for the global hockey powerhouse get in the way of our blogger/reader relationship.] I digress…
      Love, Actually has been in my Netflix queue for about two years, but I keep bumping it for horror movies [my other guilty pleasure]. But any film with Laura Linney and January Jones…SIGN. ME. UP. Consider it bumped to the top of my queue.
      USA! USA! USA!

      • Avatar dar6la says:

        That would be cruel and hurtful if we were out of the running, but alas, it will be much sweeter taking you from behind.
        Bend over, Poop… bend over.
        P.S. Is the LOTR Trilogy considered a chick flick? Because, I can watch it over and over and over and over and over.

        • The LOTR trilogy is on my insomnia cure alls list. If we're looking for action/adventure/sci-fi-fantasy movies with relevant relationship themes…well, there are quite a few that I enjoy (beyond those few I mentioned above): Romancing the Stone, Rocky II, Mr. & Mrs. Smith…

      • Avatar tee says:

        Mr. Poop… just you wait till we kick your butt later this week… watch out for my post tomorrow! Full of Canadian pride… so take it!! lol

        • Wait a minute, Tee, tell me this…Can two Canuckians be online at the same time, or do you dial in when Darla signs off? I'm genuinely surprised. I didn't think your technology was so advanced just yet.

  3. BB222 BB222 says:

    I can't bring myself to add Sisterhood of the Traveling pants to my netflix cue, I'm sorry. I just can't fucking do it.
    Hell of post poop. You'll have me questioning all day what I have against the Sisterhood since all I know about it is the title and the blurb summary you just gave me.

    • Denying yourself the pleasure that is watching Sisterhood is nothing short of insanity. It's awesome. Now, that said, avoid going overboard and watching Sisterhood 2, because that's nothing more than a handful of celluloid used to wipe the asses of greedy Hollywooders.

  4. Avatar dar6la says:

    You didn't think there was a little somethin'-somethin' going on between Sam and Frodo? Hm, I thought it was obvious.

  5. Avatar mara says:

    Clueless and Legally Blonde. HE-llo!

    • Hey, Mara! I've actually never watched Legally Blonde, so I can't say much on that one. But Clueless is definitely another that I enjoy. I think it's mostly due to my {slight} man crush for Paul Rudd.

  6. Does my love of Moulin Rouge make me less of a man? Wait… don't answer that…

  7. A Life Less Ordinary. I was stood up on a date to see it and then bought it year later on DVD… It's kinda good.

    • I've never seen it, nor was it on my radar until now. Thanks for the tip. (That's what she said.)
      My most memorable date movie was Kids. That's right – {that} Kids. Resulted in an almost 5-year relationship.

  8. Will Will says:

    Great post. Very courageous of you. I'm not sure Unfaithful would help normally, it's kind of twisted, but with you, it just might….here are some of mine:
    Field of Dreams. Not quite about relationships between man/woman, but father/son. Makes me weep every time.
    Awakenings. When Robert DiNero wakes up, holy crap. Waterfalls! Again, not man/woman but man/parents more than anything.
    Hmm. I can't think of any "chick flick" or "romance" ones. I'll edit later…

    • Thanks, Will; great suggestions. Believe it or not, I've never seen Field of Dreams – and I own the {still wrapped} DVD! Nor have I watched Awakenings in its entirety.
      I've never felt more movie-driven fury than I did after seeing Unfaithful for the first time. I must say, I'm a big Diane Lane fan…love her work and she may be atop the list of MILF. With that said, when her character inexplicably decides to shit all over her perfect little marriage and family, I wanted to puke. When I’m in the mood to dislike women, Unfaithful hits the spot quite well.

  9. Avatar llxt says:

    okay. i'll play.
    French Kiss…admittedly, i'm *obsessed* with all things french, especially actors who fake being french, but i think this movie is a pretty timeless chick flick.
    Living Out Loud…all time favorite. i <3 holly hunter & danny devito rocks in this movie. oh, did i mention Queen Latifah plays a singing role AND there's a breakout dance scene towards the end. be still my Chick Flick heart.

    • +1 for Living Out Loud. I've never seen it, but Holly Hunter is "da bomb," as the kids say. But, unfortunately, you get -234 for suggesting anything with Meg Ryan is worth watching. Sorry. Have you not seen Joe Versus The Volcano or Kate & Leopold? She should have her SAG card revoked.

  10. Avatar Rosie says:

    Must Love Dogs
    but only because I am of the opinion everyone MUST LOVE CUSACK…
    I am also on team High Fidelity…

    • Cusack career oozes poignant romance/romantic-comedy films…Say Anything, Serendipity, High Fidelity, Gross Pointe Blank, Sixteen Candles, America's Sweethearts and {the little watched} Must Love Dogs. Thanks for sharing!

  11. I'm disappointed in myself for forgetting to mention Beautiful Girls.

  12. Jason Jason says:

    First, great correction on Beautiful Girls. I'm not sure that's a chick flick though. Maybe we need to define what makes something a chick flick. Second, my brother once referred to Glengarry Glen Ross as a chick flick because, and I quote, "it didn't have enough explosions." I've been wanting to share that story forever, so thank you for the opportunity.

    • Where to begin…hmm? Okay. Your brother's obviously awesome incarnate. Calling GGR a chick flick might only be beat if he were to weep at the end of Reservoir Dogs. And to steal from Tee's comment below, perhaps I shouldn't refer to these as chick flicks at all, because her newly introduced term "Relationship Propaganda" is a far better catch-all. That said, Beautiful Girls is DEFINITELY relationship propaganda – the entire movie sucks you into wondering how each of these incredible people could have possibly stomached being working with [and looking at] Rosie O'Donnell for months on end. Er…I mean…whatever.

    • Avatar llxt says:

      re: "Maybe we need to define what makes something a chick flick." please do. and–Please Dear God–can i be a fly on the wall for that conversation? i would love to see a bunch of dicks (pardon the pun) sit around and "redefine" chick flicks.

  13. Avatar tee says:

    Okay Mr. Poop.. You need to add The Time Travelers Wife… saw it last night… wow… true love…
    Btw in my house we call this "Relationship Propoganda"… because it keeps forcing us to believe its out there… somewhere… in the big wide world… we jus haven't foudn it yet….

    • Yeah, you see, Tee, like some people have unhealthy relationships with sweets or booze or BBC America…I suffer similarly from the beauty that is Rachel McAdams-Poopoopachu. In fact, like a horny teenager, I have her Time Travelers Wife cover from USA Weekend hanging up directly to the left of the chair I'm sitting in at this very moment. BAM! there she is. BAM! there she is again. It's nice.
      …oh also, "Relationship Propaganda" is the new black. I'm all over that shit. Thanks!

  14. Avatar Mrs. Poopoopachu says:

    Big Thanks for telling everyone our relationship is a "current shitshow". What helps me through the heartache of our "failing love" is Swing Kids. Young kids in Nazi Germany who want to dance to swing music but it's banned. Tears every time i see it.

  15. Swing Kids? …Footloose: The Nazi Edition

  16. That's what is so great about you guys: with the right, um, incentive, you can even enjoy a great movie like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants! I would suggest "Mamma Mia!" next, but I know you won't agree to that … 🙂

  17. Amazing technology post. I was debating with my colleuge on this matter on the last friday. I can prove I was true by the help of this post. Thank u dost.

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Mr. Poopoopachu About Mr. Poopoopachu

Mr. Poopoopachu is a character; not of film, television or literature, but a character in {real life}. But because not too many people watch real life anymore, he’s flown under the radar virtually unnoticed entirely for 33 years. It’s Poopoopachu’s passion for absorbing all the geeky bits of pop culture in the nerdosphere that gets him out of bed each day. His past is rich with life-shaping - and many times debaucherous - experiences: he’s been the Kool-Aid Man; he’s searched for bigfoot; and he’s been booed off a bus. Hell, once he even saved 7 kittens from a burning tenement. Naked. But that’s the past, and he’s not one to dwell. Or boast. (Ladies, did we mention he saved kittens?) He’s excited to be a contributor to 30pov, where he’ll share his fun, unique experiences and {try his best} not to offend too many of you.

Read more by this author on 30POV .


December 2010
November 2010
On My Honor
October 2010
Witch Hunt
September 2010
If, Then.
May 2010
Small Crimes
April 2010
February 2010
"It's Complicated"
January 2010