Rosie is in a relationship with Mr. Poopoopachu, and "It's Complicated"
Now that I have your attention, truth be told, I am in fact, NOT in a relationship with Mr Poopoopachu. But it got you reading now didn’t it? Wow, you little voyeurs, you.
In no way is it a dynamic revelation that social networking has changed present day society as we know it. (Don’t believe me? Ask the IT department in your office…they’re watching you waste away your day fighting Mafia Wars and fucking around with your farm animals.) So regardless of whether you use your favorite social networking site to keep up with your friends and beloved relatives (you know like cousin Jill who you called a “drunkin whore” at Thanksgiving?), to post the pictures of all your drunken escapades, or to subject the world to a real time update of your child’s development (“Susie just pooed…AGAIN!”), you are all guilty. So don’t bother posting a single comment to this post stating you hate online networking…you’re an addict like the rest of us.
No matter how much we love, or hate social networking, there is one aspect of social networking that simply must be addressed: “relationship status.”
On any given day your newsfeed may look something like this:
“Jessie is now listed as in a relationship”
“Steve is no longer listed as in a relationship”
“Sarah is now married to Stephanie”
“Cathy is now listed as single”
And the crème de le crème of relationship status updates:
“Tiger is in a relationship, and it’s complicated”
(yeah, I went there).
Well here’s a “newsfeed” for you: in your REAL non-social networking world, your relationship status is known. (You DID cash all the checks they wrote as “wedding gifts” didn’t you?)
The most important advice though:
If you are in a relationship that’s “complicated,” you may want to step back and analyze a few things about your life:
1) Who is this self-loathing individual who you are with? (drinking and dialing TOO MUCH perhaps?)
2) Why do you think this is okay? (psychotherapy anyone?)
3) How many people are making fun of you behind your back, since you made it public knowledge that “Big Love” was based off your life?
If my wise words (a.k.a. bitching) do not convince you, may I suggest you do some research into the life of Hayley Jones, the mother of four who was murdered after she changed her Facebook status from married to single. (It doesn’t get more complicated than that!)
So, my loves, the next time you feel compelled to update your relationship status, resist and go play with your Farmville instead. Because, simply put, no one gives a damn about your relationship status!