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My less than complicated answer.

You know whats complicated? Life. No, wait… let me rephrase that…complications abound in this series of events strung together, that we call ‘life’. Life itself isn’t all that hard to grasp at all. If you wake up each day and you are breathing and have a pulse, congratulations! You have succeeded one more time. If you neither have a pulse, nor are you breathing, you are a Zombie, and that is an ENTIRE different set of complications.
Lets talk about what is actually complicated.

  • Baking. Baking is too complicated. I just don’t have the patience to measure all the ingredients to the nearest milligram, milliliter, and micron, however it seems that if you stray at all from the formula, a kitchen disaster automatically ensues. Just give me the brownies, OK?
  • Changing the Toilet Paper/Paper Towels. Now this MUST be complicated. How many times have you sat down on the can, started going about your business, and looked up to you horror to find there is no TP? Same thing happens all the time in the kitchen! I swear as soon you spill something and its in danger of ruining all the tax paperwork on your kitchen table, there will be no paper towels. But bet your ass there will be that telltale brown tube there, mocking you, all because of a simple thing that is obviously complicated.
  • Drug Laws. Specifically those regarding marijuana. Not only are they complicated, but in some cases they are just plain stupid. Are you aware that the federal government makes it illegal to cultivate marijuana, for the purpose of research. This same research that the US government stops us from conducting still goes on in other countries around the world, where marijuana has been found to be not only less damaging to the body than alcohol and cigarettes, but also non addictive, non toxic (it is impossible to overdose on THC), and one of the most medically beneficial substances on the entire planet. Yet here in this wonderful country, we have to sneak around and be criminals to both medicate and enjoy a safe recreational pastime. The laws could be removed and the product cultivated, sold and taxed in a controlled retail environment. Studies estimate that in 2006, marijuana as a cash crop, with a value of $35.8 billion, exceeded the combined value of corn ($23.3 billion) and wheat ($7.5 billion). A 2005 analysis by Harvard professor Jeffrey Miron estimates that if the United States legalized marijuana, the country would save $7.7 billion in law enforcement costs and could generated as much as $6.2 billion annually if marijuana were taxed like alcohol or tobacco. Not really complicated.
  • Banjos. Them things are wildly complicated. I can play the crap out of a guitar, but hand me a banjo and watch the Fail spew forth. Which is a shame, because I have this strange desire to play banjo in a bluegrass band.
  • Wireless Internet Connections. Yeah.
  • Rapping. Seriously. It’s fucking hard. Sure, I think I can rap all the time, I manage to string together about 15 syllables, then it over. After sounding like a complete moron for 12 of the 15.
  • Friendships. They really shouldn’t be complicated, but often are. You always enter into friendship with the best intentions, at least I do. Very rarely does friendship ever stay so innocent. Sometimes you just begin to grow apart, other times people get feelings. These are the most complicated. Do you act on it? Do you just let it ride, and hope that at some time it all just catches up and works out, or do you ignore it for the sake of saving the friendship? Holy Complications Batman.
  • Technical Death Metal. It’s complicated all right, almost as complicated as trying to explain to a person who has no idea about extreme music, Technical Death Metal and Time Signature is a great topic if you are a masochist. Death metal often throws in lines where the ‘1’ is non-existent, basically eliminating time signature entirely for moments or making it irrelevant. Suffocation and Morbid Angel are wonderful examples of this. Its complicated.So the more I write, the more I realize that there are just too many complicated things to list. Here is my solution…don’t sweat the small stuff. Enjoy every non Zombified minute you have, complications come and complications go… Enjoy the few simple moments you have, they are precious, learn to make them last as long as you can.
  • 3 responses to “My less than complicated answer.”

    1. acb123 acb123 says:

      Gah! I hate it when the TP/paper towels are out! And you're right–that empty brown cardboard roll does mock you. This is especially true when the TP issue happens in a public restroom. That's when you pray that someone else in the bathroom has a "square to spare."
      Fun post–thanks for sharing! :0)

    2. You write, "Just give me the brownies, OK?" I read, "Just give me the brownies and nobody gets hurt."
      Another thing to add to the list of complicated things, classifications of metal: heavy metal, black metal, thrash metal, power metal, technical death metal. I don't know how you keep up with all of it.

    3. Avatar llxt says:

      yesssssssss… "watch the Fail spew forth" has just replaces "riding the Fail Bus" 4-now and 4-evuh.

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    dimpindesign About dimpindesign

    DimpinDesign is a 35 year old, carbon based life-form currently residing in the Cape Cod area. His interests include, reading, fishing, playing the guitar, cheating the government, advanced mathematics, alchemy, and deep frying random food items.

    Read more by this author on 30POV .


    December 2010
    November 2010
    On My Honor
    October 2010
    Witch Hunt
    September 2010
    If, Then.
    May 2010
    Small Crimes
    April 2010
    February 2010
    "It's Complicated"
    January 2010