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Yes, Daddy!

Yeah. Yes. Yes, Daddy, I heard you! But I want milk in the living room! I want milk right now! Nooooo! I WANT MILK RIGHT NOW! I hate you! I love Mommy more. I love you ten and Mommy a hundred. No, I won’t go upstairs! I’m going to hit you!

Daddy, is it time to come out now? But I’ll be good. I promise. Yes, Daddy, I heard you. I AM looking at you. I’m grabbing these toys because I really want them. Well, I’m just doing what my brain tells me to do. I know you want to talk to me, but I really, really want to grab those toys. OK! I’m listening. Yes, I’ll do my best at school today. That’s a rule in our school, to do your best.

Daddy guess what! You want to hear something that is going to surprise you so much? Mommy locked her keys in the car so Pepe brought me home. Now I’m making Valentine cards for my friends. How do you spell Joey? He’s one of my friends in kindergarten. One time me, Ella, and Joey were playing hide and seek, but Joey counted to 10 too fast! You know who else is my friend? Mitchell, William, and Jack. But not Jake Ellsbury. You know why? Because he said he’s not my friend.

I think whoever loves Legos the most gets to decide who can use them. I love them the most, so I get to use them. Well, then how about I use them for five minutes and then Liam can use them. Does that sound fair? OK, well, let me think. I know. We have two sets. I’ll just go look for the other one.

Liam, I never let you lead. You go first. You can lead us upstairs to family fun time.

Daddy, can I please have another piece of candy? But I really…wait…you said yes? That’s great! Yes, Daddy, I love you one million!

6 responses to “Yes, Daddy!”

  1. Avatar WreckedUm says:

    Awesome. And for the record, I love Legos the mostest, like a billionation mostest.

  2. Avatar Mommy says:

    Told you he loves me more! 🙂

  3. Avatar The Tailor says:

    it's funny how complicated children can be, sometimes, isn't it?

    • Will Will says:

      Yup. It's not easy being a kid with a million thoughts all going through your head. These are all real lines (as best I can remember them, many were written down verbatim).

  4. Jason Jason says:

    This is so important to consider the next time one of our children seems to be acting illogically (i.e., always). It's not that they are illogical–they do, as you show, follow a series of steps to arrive at a conclusion. It's just that their logic is different than ours, which is poopy. Great piece!

  5. With some very minor tweaks, I imagine this would be an accurate account of Will's communication with his wifey. At any rate, I think it's fantastic. I look forward to your writing each month.

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Will About Will

The recipe for my favorite cocktail? Open up a can of Guinness. Pour into a glass. Drop in a shot of Baileys. Does that count?

Read more by this author on 30POV .


Issues

December 2010
Paradox
November 2010
On My Honor
October 2010
Witch Hunt
September 2010
If, Then.
May 2010
Small Crimes
April 2010
Intoxication
February 2010
"It's Complicated"
January 2010
Awakenings