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Fantasy Football: Bragging Rights are (in) the Name of the Game

It’s that time of year again, when more than 20 million Americans are preparing for another season of fantasy football.  As fantasy sports enthusiasts we have endless resources to call on when readying ourselves for draft day, from niche and traditional media outlets to Twitter and Facebook.  But I won’t waste your time with self-important, douchey advice on how to draft and manage a winning fantasy football team.  The reality is, I’m not very good.  Only one of my football squads has won a league in my nine previous fantasy seasons, and that’s with more than 20 teams under my belt.  (That sucks, I know.)

I’ve learned to look beyond the pre-draft preparation, selecting the right players and managing my roster week-to-week, because inevitably my team’s championship hopes will be derailed by ill-timed, horrible injuries, players’ inabilities to not be assholes, or worse.

And that’s why I find the most enjoyment in naming my teams.

2010 marks my tenth fantasy football season, during which I’ve {managed} 22 teams, including the S.C. Rotums, Dicks in Butkus, Sons of Jorel, Christ Punchers, Sweaty Trunks, Big Ass TDs! and Totally Bigdiculous.  This year, for my longest standing league, I’m struggling to come up with a fun and clever – and if all else fails, downright offensive – team name.  But rather than call on one of the many sites out there geared toward helping uncreative minds, like mine is today, I’ve found a new source of inspiration: 30POV.com

Just this week, I discovered a section of our admin interface here that lists the search engine terms used by web surfers that ultimately led them to our awesome site.  And while in some instances the words searched are disturbing, there are also a wealth of potential fantasy team names.  I searched this list’s 12-month archive and came up with the following candidates for my 2010 team name: (Note that these are the exact terms as they were searched by the readers.)

  • Poop in my mouth
  • Poetry of poop
  • Room full of whiskey
  • Happy bunny pictures
  • Boozin for boobies
  • Jodi Picoult sucks
  • Her anal virginity went away in a blink
  • Tits and puke
  • 30 year old failure

So what do you think?  Are any of the above good enough for me to go to battle with?  I have a little more than a week before I must name my team and draft a team.  Please share your thoughts and/or other suggestions in the comments.

18 responses to “Fantasy Football: Bragging Rights are (in) the Name of the Game”

  1. emmyem7 emmyem7 says:

    Boozin' for Boobies gets my vote. (obvie)

  2. emmyem7 emmyem7 says:

    Ha ha ha ha. We have quite a bit to catch up on, my friend.

  3. Avatar Darla says:

    I think you should name it "Hucking Force", with the team mascot being a stallion.

  4. Mr_Poopoopachu Mr_Poopoopachu says:


  5. Mr_Poopoopachu Mr_Poopoopachu says:

    Withthemselves is a solid go-to name.

  6. Avatar WreckedUm says:

    I'll also offer up "Sweet Bushy Ginger Vengeance". What that is will be clear on Wednesday.

  7. Mr_Poopoopachu Mr_Poopoopachu says:

    Today's best search term guiding a reader to 30POV is… Debate Camp Concubine. That's a fine, fine fantasy team name.

  8. Sam Sam says:

    er, laughing so *hard*…

  9. Avatar stacyparkeraab says:

    Sounds good to me–

  10. Avatar Benny B says:

    There is no question. NONE. This is your team:
    "Her anal virginity went away in a blink" SCORES a thousand-million touchdowns!

  11. Avatar The Tailor says:

    Don't feel too bad, Poop. I've won twice, and I've been doing fantasy football every year since 99. It's a total crapshoot.

  12. Mr_Poopoopachu Mr_Poopoopachu says:

    Thx, Sam. Jodi Picoult sucks it hard, but such a reference would go right over the heads of most in my league.

  13. Mr_Poopoopachu Mr_Poopoopachu says:

    Anal Favre….now that has potential. Thanks man!

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Mr. Poopoopachu About Mr. Poopoopachu

Mr. Poopoopachu is a character; not of film, television or literature, but a character in {real life}. But because not too many people watch real life anymore, he’s flown under the radar virtually unnoticed entirely for 33 years. It’s Poopoopachu’s passion for absorbing all the geeky bits of pop culture in the nerdosphere that gets him out of bed each day. His past is rich with life-shaping - and many times debaucherous - experiences: he’s been the Kool-Aid Man; he’s searched for bigfoot; and he’s been booed off a bus. Hell, once he even saved 7 kittens from a burning tenement. Naked. But that’s the past, and he’s not one to dwell. Or boast. (Ladies, did we mention he saved kittens?) He’s excited to be a contributor to 30pov, where he’ll share his fun, unique experiences and {try his best} not to offend too many of you.

Read more by this author on 30POV .


December 2010
November 2010
On My Honor
October 2010
Witch Hunt
September 2010
If, Then.
May 2010
Small Crimes
April 2010
February 2010
"It's Complicated"
January 2010