« »

Best of 30POV: Boys Will Be Boys

“Best Throwing of One’s Awesome Childhood in the Rest of our Faces”

Bestie 14 showcases Owen’s talent of captivating the reader with…oh never mind that BS. He’s a total showoff.

Boys Will Be Boys*

Couple of memories…

When I was 12 and my brother, Luke, was 10, Dad was the coach of the Maine Mariners, the minor league affiliate of the Boston Bruins. Once the Bruins’ season ended, they’d be looking for a new coach, and Dad really wanted that job. The Bruins were playing the Canadiens in the playoffs, and Dad was going to Montreal to watch the games. As it happened, April school vacation coincided with the playoffs. Someone (Mom?) had a great idea–Luke and I should join him. Make it a road trip! We’d drive to Montreal, just the Milbury boys.

So we set off from Portland, heading for Montreal in the “way back” of our standard-issue Oldsmobile station wagon. We had flipped the middle seats down, creating one massive way-back area. Being the 1980s, no one cared about child safety. Two loose children floating around the cabin of the station wagon, bouncing with every bump, flopping with every sharp turn—it was glorious. Luke and I played, fought, and argued in the way back. At some point, probably when Dad needed a break from the nonsense drifting up from behind him, we pulled over at a rest stop. Luke and I were each allowed one can of Coke, which had to last the rest of the trip.

We got back into the station wagon and hit the road again. Luke decided to show off.

“I can put all of my Coke in my cheeks without swallowing it.”

“No you can’t,” I said.

Never tell Luke he can’t do something, because he will immediately try to do it. He popped the top and poured Coke into his mouth. It wasn’t quite the entire can, but it was close. His cheeks bulged with soda. I can only imagine what the fizz was like in his nose. He couldn’t smile but I could see triumph in his eyes.

What could I do but pop his cheeks? I squished his face between my palms and sent soda foam spraying across the way back.

“That’s my whole can!” Luke cried. “Now I have nothing to drink. I’m sooo thirsty!”

This may have been the time that Dad started having second thoughts about the boys’ road trip. Or maybe it was when we arrived at the Chateau Champlain in Montreal. We stepped out of the car, and walked up the steps to the hotel. We could see all the Bruins executives through the tall glass walls of the hotel lobby. The General Manager, the President, a bunch of other guys in suits… everyone who had a say in the hiring of the next coach of the Boston Bruins.

“OK,” said Dad sternly. He really did want that job. “Please try to behave for a few moments. I’d like to make a good impression here.”

And with that he stepped into the revolving doors of the hotel. These were the kind of revolving doors that were big enough for one person at a time. Luke must have been anxious, though, because instead of waiting for the next compartment, he squeezed in with Dad. Well, I didn’t want to be left out, so I pushed right in behind Luke. That meant three people were suddenly crammed into a place meant for one. To complicate things, I was wearing a backpack. The door, which only revolved one way, caught on my bag. We were stuck. Dad kept pushing but my backpack held. We couldn’t go forward and we couldn’t go back.

“What the hell?!?” he yelled as he continued to push in vain.

“I don’t know!”was all I could think to say. My face was squished up against my brother. The Bruins executives watched us. We were fish in a bowl. So much for first impressions.

You’ll be happy to hear that he still got the job.

Later that year, we moved back to Boston. There were a lot of cool things about Dad being the coach of the Bruins. One of the most underrated things was going to the Boston Garden whenever we wanted and running around the arena. Really, no one cared. We could run around the seats, out onto the parquet floor, or even up into the rafters. Yup, the rafters. Again, not so much with the child safety.

One morning around 11:00 AM, I was at the Garden with Dad and Luke. The Celtics were playing a playoff game that night. The parquet floor was set up and the place was pretty much empty, so Dad went and found a basketball, and we ran out onto the court to shoot hoops. Pretty neat to play on that floor. If you dribbled around enough you could find the dead spots.

So the three of us were in a tight game of HORSE, when suddenly down the far end of the court here comes, yup, Larry Bird. He ran out in his warm-up gear with a ball under his arm, and proceeded to stand at the free throw line and shoot free throws. Over and over again, just free throws. Dad decided to go over and ask him if he was interested in a game of two-on-two.

Larry said, “I’d love to, but I’ve got to practice for the game tonight.”

Probably a good idea, since playing a two-on-two game against my dad would have definitely left him with a twisted ankle or worse. We finally left about an hour later, and Bird was still there, shooting nothing but free throw after free throw, seven hours before his game that night.

Boys will be boys.


*”Boys Will Be Boys.” Orig. Pub. Date: 2/14/2011. Vol II, Issue 6 ~ Gender {n} – jen-der ~ 30POV.com; All rights belong to the original author.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

« »
RSS | Contact | Contribute | Login
omilbury About omilbury

Owen is now undeniably in his 40s, but his viewpoint continues to change every day, and he hopes it will never stop changing.

Read more by this author on 30POV .


2011 Best Of

May 2011
Best of 30POV: In the interest of full disclosure…
Best of 30POV: The Inner Lives of Young Afghan Women
Best of 30POV: Poems About Boys
Best of 30POV: Tiger Woods is Guilty, but So are You
Best of 30POV: The Seven Crudely Drawn Sins of Thanksgiving
Best of 30POV: It's NOT so gay
Best of 30POV: Reality Resume
Best of 30POV: Open Love Letter to My Daughter
Best of 30POV: The Trillion Dollar Con Game, or I'll See You in Hell, Mr. Banker
Best of 30POV: Up to No Good: Greatest Hits, Vol. 1
Best of 30POV: Tick-Stop
Best of 30POV: Genoa Delinquency…
Best of 30POV: Messages from the Dark
Best of 30POV: To emerge. To spread my wings to the sun. To fly.
Best of 30POV: Thinking Green gives me the Blues
Best of 30POV: Lady of the Lake
Best of 30POV: Man on the Mountain
Best of 30POV: Boys Will Be Boys
Best of 30POV: In Your Own Little World
Best of 30POV: So Far Around the Bend
Best of 30POV: My Son, the Jihadist
Best of 30POV: of significance to no one but me
Best of 30POV: “McSorley’s Old Ale House – Women Not Welcome”
Best of 30POV: The Chemist
Best of 30POV: Six Seasons with Reasons Why One Ain't So Bad a Number to Do
Best of 30POV: I'm Strictly a Female Female
Best of 30POV: Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Serial Killers
Best Of 30POV: Quantum Bananas & Cherry Pi
Best of 30POV: Listen.
Best Of 30POV: The Honorable Ken Cosgrove
Best Of 30POV: Sara With No H


October 2011
Kiss & Tell
July 2011
May 2011
2011 Best Of