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Up to No Good: Greatest Hits, Intoxicated Edition

We’ve all been there. Everyone has felt the effects of something – alcohol, drugs, love, hate, the smell of smoky delicious barbecue or what have you. Truth be told, any one of us could have written dozens of Intoxicated posts for 30POV this month. And I’m no different.

But rather than write a bunch of short stories or highlights – or write much of anything at all – I’ve decided to just share photographs from some of those intoxicated events in my life. After all, a picture speaks a thousand words, right? (And who would want to read 15,000+ words about my life?) Exactly.  So, here are the greatest hits of my intoxicated {early} life, captured in photos.



Real friends give lapdances. And better friends lick booze from your stomach while your entertaining them.


Following this night at Pat O’Brien’s on Bourbon Street, I was known as The Hurricane.


A 12-foot length of ½-inch diameter PVC tubing, an oversize oil funnel, and a six-pack worth of Bud Light makes for one helluva good beer bong. (Ignore the embarrassing 311 t-shirt.)


Wasn’t quick enough with the camera to catch my pal vomit “the world’s hottest wings” on the sidewalk, so I reenacted the crime.


Each year, on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, my friends celebrate ‘Stroh Day’ to honor the world’s best beer – Stroh’s.


Boobies. That is all.


Spent a week in Amsterdam to celebrate my 30th birthday.


Wearing my {Kentucky} Derby best and double-fisting cold beverages on the infield.


Karaoking Poison’s ‘Talk Dirty to Me’.

Kegs n Eggs

A very young Poopoopachu at an early morning “Kegs n’ Eggs” bar party.


Scratch what I said earlier about lapdances and the friends who perform them.


I’ve been intoxicated by the New York Mets since 1986.


A fuzzy pic of a fuzzy memory from a Sunday watching the Monsters of the Midway.


New to the neighborhood? Set off some car alarms and say “hello” to your neighbors.


This photo always reminds me of the opening scene in ‘The Way of the Gun’.


The photos above span three decades, and each carries an epic Intoxicated story of its own.  If you’re lucky, one night over a few rounds I’ll share ‘em with you.

33 responses to “Up to No Good: Greatest Hits, Intoxicated Edition”

  1. papi papi says:

    dam bro you topped me big time, you are the man

  2. papi papi says:

    thats just amazing

  3. Avatar Mike Hannon says:

    this is made of win.

  4. Avatar matt says:

    duuude….these pictures are hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Jason Jason says:

    Each month I read your post, satisfied that I have seen you push yourself to the publishable limit. And then the next month you shatter that ceiling. Thank you for this. What a foolish and wonderful way to start the day.

  6. Jason Jason says:

    Oh, and I can I get that 311 shirt from you? I sort of have a collection. It's a Nebraska thing.

  7. Avatar angela says:

    Picture 6: How do you do that?!

    • Believe it or not that photo was taken at a quiet, neighborhood tavern in the middle of the week. You'd think it was some club in Vegas or on Bourbon Street. Ha! The place was nearly empty except for a group of girls doing shots (always a good sign!). I went with the sure thing conversation starter: "Wow, you two have grrreat tits." Woke up the next morning and a friend had this photo on his phone. FTW!

  8. It's rare when your expectations of a man are met to such an astonishing degree.

  9. Avatar Dar6la says:

    I clearly need to live life a little more, and always pack my camera.

  10. Avatar Charlotte says:

    This is an amazing chronology of a lifetime of boozin' (sometimes pictures are far more effective). I'm thoroughly impressed by the boobie picture 🙂

  11. Avatar fomerchardonnayfan says:

    Bigass Titties!!!

  12. Avatar llxt says:

    epic stories i'd like to hear over our next round:
    pat o'briens, kentucky derby, boobies, kegs/eggs, and photo-the-last. (not necessarily in that order…)

  13. fent11111 fent11111 says:

    Jesus Christ man…
    You really are a fucking deviant.
    Poop for the win.

  14. Avatar Snotty says:

    I approve of those boobies, sir. And also the hot wings.

  15. Avatar KFrayz says:

    wow. can't wait until you have kids and try and tell them NOT to drink…{insert me saving this post now as parenting blackmail}

  16. […] I was fully aware at the time that I was committing an ostensibly criminal act, but weighed the ease of the act (extremely simple) against the consequences (a slap on the wrist and a reprimand for violating the college’s residential code of conduct, whoopee). I got away with it too, mostly because I was smarter than most 19 year-olds drinking for the first time and I didn’t get stupid drunk. […]

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Mr. Poopoopachu About Mr. Poopoopachu

Mr. Poopoopachu is a character; not of film, television or literature, but a character in {real life}. But because not too many people watch real life anymore, he’s flown under the radar virtually unnoticed entirely for 33 years. It’s Poopoopachu’s passion for absorbing all the geeky bits of pop culture in the nerdosphere that gets him out of bed each day. His past is rich with life-shaping - and many times debaucherous - experiences: he’s been the Kool-Aid Man; he’s searched for bigfoot; and he’s been booed off a bus. Hell, once he even saved 7 kittens from a burning tenement. Naked. But that’s the past, and he’s not one to dwell. Or boast. (Ladies, did we mention he saved kittens?) He’s excited to be a contributor to 30pov, where he’ll share his fun, unique experiences and {try his best} not to offend too many of you.

Read more by this author on 30POV .


December 2010
November 2010
On My Honor
October 2010
Witch Hunt
September 2010
If, Then.
May 2010
Small Crimes
April 2010
February 2010
"It's Complicated"
January 2010