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M for Mischievousness or V for Vendetta?

***Disclaimer – the following are things I would like to do, but will not do.

Recently, I lost my job. (Let me hear the “awwwwws”). I am okay with losing my job. I am not okay with how my ex-boss firedme, or how he has treated me since. Two weeks prior to my job loss, I received a promotion. According to him, I was doing a great job. He even informed me that in two months he was going to add another shift for me (I worked two days at that time). I was excited (and surprised) he actually complimented me. On September 16th I received a call stating that he was “going in a different direction” and had to let me go – no notice, no explanation, nothing. What the hell? That day I had already sprained my ankle, was served a partially raw burger at Burger King, and received a $75 parking ticket on campus. I did not need this.

One and a half weeks later, I have yet to receive my final paycheck. Tuesday I received a message stating, “I will try to send it out Wednesday or Thursday.” What is that? Try to send it out? You run two adult websites, how can you not send me the $200 you owe me? I had to sell jewelry, sell books back to the campus bookstore, and borrow money from my landlord to pay bills. All of these happenings lead me to want to do several “mischievous” things to my boss. Below is a list of all the things I would like to do, but will not do. Sometimes, just thinking about them is enough.

  • Inform his neighbors via flyers that he is running two fetish sites out of his house. He lives on a lake, with people that have some serious $$$ and I am sure many of them would not be happy that he is doing this (others may love it – so this may not be the best plan).
  • Call a feminist organization to boycott his “degrading” of women. Okay, so I do not feel as if he is degrading the models, as they are willing. In addition, my idea of feminism is embracing what you want to be, regardless of what it is. Plus I worked for him, so obviously the industry does not bother me.  I am just hoping they would protest outside his house.
  • Call the IRS. Just tip them off they should audit him. I would love to hear him explain what he does for a living, and how he pays the models and such. Unfortunately, he is on the up and up, but the hassle would be funny.
  • Post an ad on Craigslist warning models that work for him that he likes to sleep with as many models as possible. He has a girlfriend, but really, what does that mean???!!! Just because she is a model, and present at most shoots, it does not mean models will not be leery of him after my post.
  • Log on to the sites and move the picture and video galleries around. Unfortunately, I am not sneaky computer savvy and would easily have my IP address traced.
  • Leave him a bag of flaming poop. Come on, that is JUST classic! Except, I do not have a dog, I have a terrible gag reflex, and I am kind of germ-a-phobic.
  • Smash his pumpkins! (Take that as you will).

I keep feeling the need to reiterate that I will not do these things. Please do not call the authorities on me, as they already think I am crazy. I believe October is the time for mischief, mine just happens to come out of spite. Trick or Treat Greg?* Maybe you will get a little of both – bwaaaaaahaha

*Name has been changed to protect the guilty – I know you all have me backed, and thus I do not want you to get in trouble on my behalf by doing any of the above suggestions – I mean humorous representations of what I would like to be done.

6 responses to “M for Mischievousness or V for Vendetta?”

  1. For starters, nowhere in the Rules of Michief does it stipulate that the poop in a Flaming Bag of Poop prank must be that of canine, feline or any domesticated animal variety. Given McKnight’s and Lee Lee’s love for FiberOne, perhaps they’d donate to your cause?

  2. Avatar rockertycoon says:

    a few good ones…..empty all the air in his tires, he’ll assume they’ve been slashed and he’ll get new ones.
    change the password on his screensaver
    use his email to sign up for tons of spam porn
    switch the numbers of his g/f and mom in the phone.
    There are thousands. I think the spam porn would be the best.

    • I like how you think! Sadly, though, I’m guessing that a porn site owner either A) already receives loads of spam porn or B) would enjoy loads of spam porn.
      …ugh…”loads”…how fitting.

  3. Avatar lee lee says:

    I have to say…I don’t think you need the disclaimer. We’ve all done things that aren’t exactly–how should I put this–…Legal (for lack of a better word!) and we’ve all done things that were spiteful, revengeful, hateful. I mean, this guy deserves a kick in the booty. Why not give it to him? Trust me, if I hadn’t of needed the payoff so badly, I totally would’ve screwed over my previously employer who fired me. That’s one Ethical Dilemma I thought long & hard over…

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Christina About Christina

*Christina “Olives” Lamoureux is the self-fulfilling prophecy of a quirky and sarcastic procrastinator. When faced with the reality of work, she generally takes a nap instead. She currently lives and attends graduate school in Fitchburg, MA, where she spends her time studying really old stuff as an Ancient and Medieval History major. She is very slowly writing a true crime story that has nothing to do with ancient or medieval history, but aspires to write historical fiction as well. The only perfect thing she has done in her life is thrown a 300 game in ten pin bowling; since that occurred in her twenties, it is now ancient history as well. Besides history and bowling, she “sees dead people” as part of a paranormal investigation team. When she cannot afford to indulge in her martini fetish, she reads or watches terrible, pointless TV.

Read more by this author on 30POV .


December 2009
Season Finale
November 2009
{Seven Deadly} Sins
October 2009
Mischief Making
September 2009
Green Ethics
August 2009