Cruel Summers
Summer vacations = Summer romance
Or so I thought {was taught to expect} in Jr. High and High School. Unfortunately, or maybe it was fortunately, I never got to experience a young and innocent summer affair.
I got my hopes up every year, this summer would be different…a new boy would move in down the street and we would fall madly in love…I would meet my best friends long lost cousin and we would fall madly in love…and on and on and on.
I blame it on those Sweet Valley High books and all the hundreds of other pre-teen and teen novels I would devour in half a day. Oh, and the movies; sweet, sweet 80’s teen movies. Would he look like Jason Bateman? Corey Haim? Ricky Schroder? Only time would tell.
But, it was never meant to be. Because you see, I was a late bloomer.
Not so much with reasoning or common sense, but more of a social, and now a career late bloomer. I can say with 100% honesty that all through school, I never once had a boyfriend or even went on a date. Never went to a high school dance or prom, never really wanted to. More importantly, I was never asked to go.
“Wow,” you must be thinking, “you must have been hideous!”
I don’t think I was. I wasn’t Miss Teen USA, but I didn’t have a Garbage Pail Kid doppelganger either. Sure, my pants were tight-rolled and I had 80’s hair for a couple years, but who didn’t? I was totally and completely normal – on the outside – and that’s all that really matters in high school.
I stood by as the freaks, geeks and jocks hooked up. Mostly with each other, but sometimes inter-clique couples formed. Maybe one of my problems was just that I wasn’t identifiable with any one group. But, weren’t there boys in the same boat?
Who knows. All I do know is that for a while I wondered what was so terribly wrong with me that no boy wanted anything to do with me. It’s such ancient history and in the end it, it….who knows what it did or didn’t do for my psyche. Who cares, I’m just glad I didn’t turn out to be one of those people whose high school experience was the highpoint of their life.
Although it seems like a few lifetimes ago and I probably saved myself a lot of teenage heartache, I occasionally wonder why. I guess it just boils down to being a late bloomer. I mean, I wasn’t even ready for my own birth and had to be dragged out of the warmth of the womb into a snowy and grey December blizzard.
I’m still a late bloomer.
My peers have either been succeeding in their chosen career or starting to find success after climbing the ladder. Many have buns in the oven or actual living and breathing kids of their own. Then there’s me. I still wonder what I want to do with my life and what my next move is going to be. And yes, I know the grass is always greener and most people wonder what else is out there and if they made the right decisions, but I still believe that I’m a little behind the curve.
The truth of the matter is that I wouldn’t have it any other way. What I may have missed out on in school I more than made up for in my 20’s. The way I see it, I just like to take my time and enjoy the many stages of life and development. No need to jump into the next phase and skip over some of the good stuff.
I do wish I would have applied myself a little more in a couple areas, but that’s a discussion for another time; what else would you expect from a Gen Xer anyway?
PS. Not feeling the summer yet? Watch this, it always works for me.
About Emily Billings