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Summer of Loving Yourself is Way Better than the Summer of Loving Some Random Idiot

About a month or so ago someone asked me what my goals are for the summer. My answer came out in the form of a snort and a look like I’d just smelled a rank fart (it included a triple chin). Quickly realizing how incredibly rude that was I said “uh, I dunno, be happy but I already am so I guess have fun?”.
I hadn’t thought about summer goals since I was 16 and on the swim team. And even then, you cut your times and coach was happy. Coach was happy and everyone is happy. Win win. This tactic has incredible success in the workplace as well.
Practical knowledge you already knew.
Lack of these goals that apparently everyone but myself are aspiring to made me a little paranoid so during one of our daily chats, I consulted the other (and way better half) of Team Spinster, Mandy. I was all “what should I do?”   And she was like “meet me in New York for Team Spinster Birthday Celebration and eat some ridiculously good food”.
And I was like “good one but that’s already happening so I need something else new to do”.
And she was like “uh, something that would make you better or whatever”.
And I was like “maybe I’ll try to be one of those women who goes out hunting for a boyfriend”.
Then we internet laughed for like 10 minutes.
But once I wiped the tears of joy and laughter from my eyes and calmed down, the idea of bettering myself or whatever kind of sounded like fun. But what to do? I already have radical cats who I’ve trained to get into the shower and be really cute and fun. I’d like to play the oboe but my neighbors don’t want that, nor do I want a long term goal. Something quick. Something measurable so that I feel a sense of accomplishment. And I started to get a little stressed out about what to do.
So I took a yoga class and let my mind settle a little. And stretched out on my ridiculously comfortable couch. And thought a little more. And listened to music. And had long conversations with friends about random stuff and we laughed and laughed.
And then this month’s theme came up & I was like “Summer of Love, GREEEEAAAAT….what is a spinster supposed to write about some stupid summer of love?”  People are going to be talking about how awesome the summer home they got with their partner is. And how they’re going to bang like 4 times a day. Love love love.
Fucking barf.
So then Team Spinster had another online meeting and I was telling her about this and how I have to write about stupid love. And I was like “whatever, I’m going to rain on their love parade with SPINSTERHOOD”.
And then it hit me. I love being a spinster. Being a spinster means that I get to blast whatever kind of music I want pretty much any time I want (may sound silly but this has been a big issue with some of the exes). I just took a new job that includes traveling all over the place and didn’t feel like I needed to factor someone else in. I get to take long walks aimlessly wandering around all over the city any time I want.
Not that a traditional relationship is awful or at some point wouldn’t be welcomed. It just doesn’t fit into my Summer of Love: Spinster-style plans. And at that point two birds were hit with one stone.
First, the post wrote itself.
And second, I committed to my original summer goal of just having a good time and absolutely loving the hell out of whatever comes my way. No better way to improve yourself or whatever than being happy.

5 responses to “Summer of Loving Yourself is Way Better than the Summer of Loving Some Random Idiot”

  1. Amen, sister. Pass the sunscreen and spread the joy. Oh, and… hallelujah, glory be!

  2. Avatar Simon Siamese says:

    I am absolutely inspired. I’m filing for divorce today!

    • emmy em emmy em says:

      Just get your spouse to move to Brookline & it'd be the best of both worlds! But we'll take what we can get for now with you joining us for hip hop & ballet classes.

  3. paypar paypar says:

    Couple thing I wanted to put out there: anyone who has to brag about how happy they are, clearly aren't. Every relationship is imperfect and people have problems. Anyone who says they don't argue is a liar. If you're claimin to have sex four times a day, every day, clearly there's not much more to the relationship.
    So should you encounter people like this, you should be amused at their delusions or feel sorry for them since they are trying to cover up low self-esteem or something else.
    Finally I cannot agree more with your last line. Over 6 years ago, in a guestbook I put out during my engagement party, a cousin of mine wished me congratulations (like everyone else). He also wrote something that I often come back to: Happiness is the difference between expecting and accepting. It wasn't just applicable to my relationship, but a way of living!

  4. emmy em emmy em says:

    Because that's what us spinsters are doing this summer. Saving the world.

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