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Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind, and It Does Not Envy, but Only When Things Are Breezy and Easy

We’ve got true love all wrong. What do you picture when you read “true love”? Hand-holding, bike riding down a street with no cars and no litter, 72 degrees and a refreshing drink within reach, ambient sounds like you only hear in your dreams, kisses softer than that real expensive tissue with the lotion embedded in it? Of course! We all share this vision of love, this close-to-perfect state when one being is in complete alignment with another being and the rest of the world can go hang. None of us are immune from the centuries-old depictions of what love should be. Most of us weren’t even immune to enjoying “Ice Ice Baby” when it came out, so what chance do we have against a much more powerful tradition?
Before you take a guess with where I’m going with this, let me say now that I’m not claiming there’s anything wrong with this understanding of love. When I think of love, this is what I want to envision too. Sure this idea conveniently ignores the realities of the bigger world around it–wars and mortgages, sickness and crime, sadness and loss–but that’s part of the appeal, that this love can for a time remove us from regular life and bring us and another like us to a place both serene and exhilarating and alone. I don’t believe that this concept being false, even if it’s far-fetched. Going to the moon and curing HIV were also far-fetched at a time.
My issue is more with the term “true love.” What I’ve described here is more like easy love. It’s easy to be head over heels when your biggest problem is a butterfly landing on your head after running through a field, probably in slow motion, to embrace your lover, probably wearing loose garments that flow perfectly in the breeze. Every other concept that is linked with truth occurs in a more challenging scenario. The quest for truth is a lifelong quest that few have ever attempted. True justice requires objectivity and bravery without compare. Telling the truth often forces our hand, making us reveal ourselves as flawed, often risking those things we hold dearest. These examples are a far cry from walking arm-in-arm along a beach to the sensual tunes of Seals and Croft.
True love? That’s connecting with someone to her core, to his essence. Take away the nice cars. Take away all of the cars. Remove the relaxing dinners by an open window. Ignore the glass of wine and conversation after work. Disregard all images of going to the movies, of exploring new areas, of building a relationship together. Do not think of first kisses and all the ones that follow. Avoid images of beautiful pecs and beautiful breasts. Do not think of great eyes that reflect the sunlight and all the hopes and dreams of a new couple. Remove the comfortable living quarters. Remove shared jokes.  Think not of romantic pasts, joyous presents, and hopeful futures. These are all matters of our hearts and minds. True love is not in the place where we find desires and thoughts.
I don’t mean to suggest that you’re only really in love if you fall for an itinerant with bad finances and worse luck. I do suggest that a true love must not be attached to these matters, for nothing can disrupt a true love. It is the closest thing on this earth to eternal. A love beyond dollars and plans. Even as the embodiment around it is razed, it does not change; with that embodiment, it is raised again.
For some it is the fabric of the universe. For others it is the hand of God. For me, it is the hazardous, challenging road between, an equation of souls and the cosmos where one and one are one. It is less an ideal and more of a different reality. It is not our reason to exist, it is its own existence.
Why does any of this matter at all? For most it doesn’t. For me it doesn’t. At this stage in my life I prefer the concept and goal of easy love to this true love. I’m a big one for perspective, though, at least while I’m writing, or in rare moments where I’m alone with my thoughts. Acknowledging a true love that is beyond friendly smiles and final goodbyes helps me better see where I am in this life. It makes who I am much smaller in the galactic sense while making the life I do live more valuable.
Hey, maybe these are better thoughts for the fall. Here’s to an easy summer. We deserve that much. Peace.

19 responses to “Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind, and It Does Not Envy, but Only When Things Are Breezy and Easy”

  1. emmy em emmy em says:

    Well, I for one can say that I DID date an itinerant with bad finances, terrible luck, and even worse judgment and that was probably the furthest thing from true love in my life. He was a sad, little troll.
    Anyway, lovely post. For some, however, I think true love does come in the form of who is driving the luxury car or buying you a large piece of element. I wouldn't consider myself of the the later-mentioned, but it works differently for everyone.

  2. Brilliant! Everyone wants the butterfly and the meadow and the slow motion run, but no one wants to work for it.
    "Falling in love is easy, someone tell me how to stay there." – "Love Jones" (1997)

  3. paypar paypar says:

    Tell me I'm not the only one that doesn't know what itinerant means.

  4. paypar paypar says:

    Wait I just re-read this….you mean what they show me in Bollywood movies isn't true love? *faint*

    • Jason Jason says:

      I wish I could validate this, Paypar, but unfortunately I've never made it to the end of a Bollywood movie. By the fifth hour, I can't stay still any longer…

  5. Avatar Kurt says:

    Love and the idea of it is powerful. However, I agree with Han: "There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny."
    HAN SOLO, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

  6. Avatar The Tailor says:

    Deep thoughts, Jason, as usual. All I'll say s true love is hard work.

  7. llxt llxt says:

    Jay-Jo-Lay, ever heard the weezer song that makes fun of "true love" (which one? ba damp bing). No, seriously. It's one of our favorites. "And when I daydream/ we're eating ice cream/ it's such a nice scene/ but then i wake up cryin'/ i know i've just been lyin'" http://youtu.be/JLFuM-IrPEY

  8. Avatar scott h says:

    You are the first writer I've read who can talk about love without giving advice. Kudos for that…everyone else seems to give in to that temptation.
    Have a good summer!

    • Jason Jason says:

      Scott, your thoughtful comments are always incredibly meaningful to me. You've just made my summer start out good.

  9. Avatar Michael Cardello says:

    Awesome…And that's the truth. A lot of stuff in here that I never thought of, but has just always been natural. Julianne knew I'd love this, and I DO!!! Can't wait to meet you…
    Michael Cardello

    • Jason Jason says:

      I'm so glad we're eye to eye on these things, Michael. I'm sure we'll meet at some Leary get-together this summer.

  10. Kail Kail says:

    What if I AM an itinerant with bad luck and worse finances? Can I find true love? 😉 This post is epic, Jason, and speaks to a kind of love few ever reach…a special, universal truth that deals with God and science and all the mysteries of everything!
    I think Einstein would like this post–though I'm sure he dug the easy love too. I mean, who doesn't?

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