Love in the Time of Cholera…err…Bridezilla?

To date there are approximately 5-10 reality televisions about…WEDDINGS.

You have your Bridezilla, Say Yes to the Dress, Say Yes to The Dress {for big girls}, My Fair Wedding, a Wedding Story, For Better or For Worse, Whose Wedding is it Anyway, and don’t even get me started on…BRIDALPLASTY.  (yuck).
It comes as no surprise that “we” are obsessed with weddings.  In this country alone, we manage to march 2.5 million couples per year down the aisle leaving the wedding industry to profit at about 40 million dollars.  YOWASA.
But here is the thing.  The wedding industry, the reality shows, and the mother’s of daughters everywhere, are relying on one important factor:   Women ACTUALLY giving a shit about weddings themselves.
I have news for them.   A lot of us don’t. In fact, being in possession of a vagina does not make me predetermined to fantasize about a big fat rock. Nor does it guarantee I will be dreaming of the day that my prince charming, will be waiting for me to ride to towards him in the big white castle in my horse and carriage…all paid for of course by MY DADDY.
Now don’t get me wrong.  I love my boyfriend, and can honestly say I couldn’t {and wouldn’t want to} imagine my life without him.  But do I feel the need to spend the equivalent of my undergraduate education, the cost of my graduate education or the down payment on a house in order to rub our love and happiness in everyone’s face? Not particularly. {Besides, if we want to rub our love in your faces, we will just let you witness one of our fights…now that’s some passion and love}
But turn on the television on a Saturday afternoon,  Sunday night,  or during any major televised sporting event and you will witness We TV, Lifetime, TLC or the Oxygen channel suggesting otherwise. They aren’t so much suggesting, but more SHOVING it down my throat, and the throats of young girls, teenagers and women everywhere.
Speaking of women everywhere, it’s not just me.  I have an astounding number of female acquaintances that throw up just a little in their mouths every time they even get within 50 miles of a David’s Bridal.  And who could blame us?  We come from a generation of messy divorces, out in the open infidelity, and court mandated alimony.  {I was an outsider with my classmates because my parent’s waited until I was in MIDDLE SCHOOL to divorce…geesh}
It’s not the idea of spending the next forty years with the same human being.  Or EVEN having to share a bathroom, checking account, friends, family, or even (god forbid) a child with someone that freaks me out.  It’s just that I don’t think I should have to spend 50 G’s in order to get that.
I can see the appeal for many men and women.  You get engaged and the WHOLE world stops and showers you with 48 hours of attention.  Then lucky you! You get to spend the next 12-24 months not eating, sleeping and constantly fighting with everyone you know over such MONUMENTAL things as:  who sits next to who, who can’t eat the fish and for Christ sakes not those linens! But then the big day comes and again for 12 hours…it’s all about you.  Don’t worry the outpouring of love and attention won’t last.  No one will be sitting by your side showering you with champagne and cake when your hubby starts banging the neighbor.  {Well if your best friend is anything  like mine, they will}.
But forget that…I know why people do the big wedding thing:  MONEY, LOOT, AND PRIZES!
GIFT REGISTRY HOLLA!
I believe in a gift registry, that includes BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO your friends and relatives sending you cards full of cash money…but not for a marriage.  How about in celebration of you completing 10 years of undergraduate, graduate and a post-grad fellowship?  Or how about a registry for celebrating working in the human service field for 10 years.  If that doesn’t warrant a new espresso machine, knife set, and an open bar…than I don’t know what does.
On a final note…thank god for weddings.  I met the love of my life at one. 😉

Filed under: Gender {n} – jen-der by kfrayz
3 Comments »