Strange But True
Five years ago, when I first opened the package containing the wedding quilt that a woman whom I consider to be my honorary grandmother crocheted for my husband and I, I thought the colors were oddly dull. When I opened the package again after my divorce, they seemed glowing and vibrant; I now display the quilt on my couch.
Speaking of marriage, I should be bitter, but I’m not. I’m hopeful. It’s weird, and sometimes it makes me feel like something that can’t learn, like a goldfish.
My omnivore boyfriend said to me the other day that he thinks it might be a good idea to expect grocery store shoppers to cut their own meat from a carcass, wrap it up, and then pay for it because then people would understand more sincerely the severity of meat consumption. I liked that he said it; I even admired it.
Speaking of meat eating, the very best vegetarian dim sum I’ve ever had was in Philadelphia, home of the cheesesteak.
Instead of experiencing a warm, small-town pride when I’m about to drive past any of the tiny, family-owned businesses on the quiet roads near my home, I feel dread; in this economy, I’m afraid they’ll have disappeared, and often that fear is confirmed. Today’s casualty was Nana’s Pizzeria right near the train tracks.
Speaking of Nana, my ninety-six-year-old paternal grandmother, in hopsice now and likely in the last days of her life, asked *me* last month if I have any regrets. Aren’t I supposed to be asking her that?
Snow blankets everything, but it makes the whole world radioactively bright, a quality that recommends it despite its other, less-brightness-induced headaches.
Speaking of winter, I hate January and February; I love to be outside, and I hate being cold, so these months are hard for me. But, the freezing, stinging winds of winter give me an excuse to stay inside under a blanket and not do anything productive, the gift of rest.
About samaphore
Very nice, everything flows beautifully. I wonder if your Grandma is just evaluating her own regrets and seconding guessing if it has been worth it to hang on to them all this time. That is, if she has any.
Speaking of great writing… a great post for you to end the year on – both hopeful and introspective. I once had a writing teacher say that a good writer win remember three distinct things about a journey (even if its just a trip to the grocery store). Clearly, you've mastered that skill.
Great post, Sam. Indeed introspective and touching as all hell, too, and all week I've been saying to myself that I need to send a card to my grandmother. I wish your grandmother all the happiness in the world. I respect any piece that instills hopefulness while simultaneously reminding me to get off my ass. Spring awaits!
I'm a sucker for train of thought pieces and this is a great one, rolls right off the brain.
"The severity of meat consumption" ?? Great piece, kiddo, as usual. JUst look at winter this way: It could be worse, you could be In WI.