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"Not tonight Dear, my birth control is working."

OH the wonderful magic of that little monthly pill! You know the one right?  The made them all pretty those pills, pink, white, green, or blue. They make it so EASY!   With one daily pop 99.9% of your concern {when used correctly} of you bearing a child is REMOVED!
Oh the glorious feeling of FREEDOM!  The freedom to suck and fuck to your hearts content!  It really is a miracle you know, this little pill, the way it completely STOPS you from being able to make your own little bouncing miracle {i.e. a baby}. How are those BONUS side effects treating you?  Less cramping, less bleeding and for SOME, an almost complete hiatus from Aunt Flow’s monthly visit!
That’s the good, let’s discuss the BAD.
Of course, you won’t have many opportunities to enjoy this new found ANTI-BABY freedom. Because while we are at it, let’s not forget to mention the most important side effect of them all…NO SEX DRIVE!
That’s right folks, you too can experience the joy of living a baby free lifestyle, and all you have to give up is your DESIRE to fuck!
Now if that isn’t a MODERN MIRACLE I sure as hell don’t know what is!
Some type of important scientific research states that women loss their sex drive on the pill because of the hormonal shit show it turns your body into.  We all have a teensy tiny bit of androgens, {more specifically, TESTOTERONE} in all our bodies {some more than other’s, Hilary Clinton I am looking at you!} The BIG T not only gives us a few chin hairs here and there, but it enables us to want to fuck like BUNNIES.  That sweet little daily pill pop depletes the SEXY HORMONES in your body.  So even if you couldn’t make babies…you sure as HELL don’t want to.
So I know what you are ASKING…”KFrayz, should I just start injecting steroids?”
No.  I don’t really know what to advise you in this conundrum, plus, my malpractice insurance doesn’t cover me advising you anyhow.
But Fella’s, the next time your lady tells you “NOT TONIGHT DEAR”, don’t take it as insult.  She might be telling you the truth, and the truth is, thanks to that MAGIC LITTLE PILL that keeps those pesky babies away, her VAGINA is as dried up as the SAHARA on hot winter’s day

4 responses to “"Not tonight Dear, my birth control is working."”

  1. Avatar disperse says:

    Join us KFrayz! After listening to our little bouncing miracle scream for the last half an hour I'm SO SURE you want one of your own! 😉

  2. Avatar SusanJBigelow says:

    Empathy. Hormones are such powerful things… I've known many women who have said the same things you are, and found that their sex drives returned once they went off the pill. I have my own stories, too.
    Most men simply have no experience of what changing hormone levels do to sex drive, though!

  3. Kail Kail says:

    How many levels does a hormone have? Is it like Super Mario, worlds 1-1 through 8-1? Which level has the best sex drive? World five has big black cannons, if I remember correctly. I get super excited and big when I eat mushrooms, but I don't know if that helps the princess in the long run. I know a quick way to warp to the top of the castle, but you have to use a toy whistle, and I'm not into that.

  4. Avatar The Tailor says:

    I was not aware of that, although I don't think it's necessarily across the board.
    Kail: Nice job making Mario dirty, bro. 🙂

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