I Kinda Always Knew You'd End Up My Ex-Boyfriend……
There is a certain method to the madness of relationships. Generally, when one is slated to end, the good is quickly forgotten by all the bad. No one ever really believes it is better to love and lost than never to have loved at all. Love is painful, and it changes you – even when you think it does not. So in my reflective nature, I have decided to remember the good, rather than the bad of my past relationships.
Robert – What to say about him. Age 15 to 26 he was my life. He taught me how to fix cars, a skill I am proud to have. He also kept me racing cars, when most likely I would have had to stop due to the lack of people to help me. He also gave me three sort-of-stepkids, whom I love dearly. My responsibilities that came because of him and his children kept me grounded in a time when many people were spending their time going nowhere.
William – Barely a year of my life with him, and then a few years lingering after. He taught me how to play poker, to learn to say FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, to embrace the greatness that is Pink Floyd and Rammstein, and to LOVE football (and not to be a bandwagon Pats fan – but an Eagles fan instead).
George – A few intense, but fucked up months (maybe 5 or 6). He taught me to embrace my dark and dirty side – the things I like, and the confidence to express what I like. He taught me that Hamburger Helper is edible if you season the meat like crazy and add onions and garlic.
Trevor – Another few fucked up months. He did not teach me much – he did teach me that a man who thinks he loves you will buy a car from you that has a blown motor and 130,000 miles on it, for $3000. He also taught me that my germaphobic nature is not that bad (since his was worse).
Derek – Almost two years, a year of which was separate but together in the sense I had moved out. He taught me that it is okay to act silly. I am a dork, and I was able to embrace that. He reminded me just how damn good Mountain Dew is, and that lizards are cool.
James – The last of the boyfriends. We were together about a year, and he is now my closest friend and roommate. He taught me to smoke a cigar properly, and the greatness of sushi. He reminded me that playing video games on occasion is a good thing.
Each of these people shaped who I am today (both good and bad). People say a man (or woman) should never change you, but that is unrealistic. People affect you each day, and sometimes they may be no more than a stranger. The key is to remember the things you would not know if it was not for those that passed through your life. Yes, the heartache is there, but so are new-found interests, beliefs, and talents.