A Trap of My Own Making.

August 22, 2009

Food. We all need it to survive, some of us however abuse it, not unlike alcohol. I’m one of those abusers.
For thirty-five years I lived under the assumption that I could escape myself through food, I hit four-hundred and fifty-two pounds. Over the last three years I have slowly learned how wrong I’d been. I lost one-hundred and forty pounds, gained back forty, lost twenty, gained sixty and so on and so forth.
I woke up recently and weighed three-hundred and seventy-six pounds. I’d let food win. Again.
I immediately decided to fight back, to not let my life be overrun by the once comforting and debilitating giver and taker of life. I recruited my wife to help, there was no way I could do it on my own. She began planning meals and rationing my food. I rededicated myself to a workout plan and got back to the gym.
Now, I eat when and what she says. Dee plans and prepares six meals daily, all highly nutritious, well rounded, sensibly portioned and fully satisfying. I no longer stress out over food and my cravings are much easier to control. I exercise nine to twelve times weekly.
For the first time in thirty-five years I am completely satisfied and content with food as a source of nutrition and sustenance as opposed to a means of escape.
I have lost forty-one pounds in the last forty-eight days utilizing healthy eating habits, daily exercise routine and lowering my overall stress levels about food.
I’m gradually escaping a trap of my own making. The cage of fat and stress I’d built around the real me.

3 Responses to “A Trap of My Own Making.”

  1. lee lee says:

    “food as a source of nutrition and sustenance…”therein lies the key. though i can’t say i’ve struggled anywhere near as much as you (i think i was just born lucky), the issue of food is always a hot topic around my family. i never really cared until i had a kid and then… it’s all about finding that balance between “IS HE EATING ENOUGH” and not freaking out when all he will eat is mac & cheese, and he’s only 21 months!!! anyway, i think i’m saying A) you’re not alone (especially not on this blog) and B) Thank God for people who cook for us (my husband regulates my nutritional sustenance, too).

  2. kfrayz says:

    Control and food go hand in hand for so many and takes on different forms. Although the crucial first step, admitting this as an “escape” is where often time, most are paralyzed with fear…those who have true strength are able to conquer this fear and take back the control which at one time, for one reason or another they lost.
    You clearly have this strength…kudos.

  3. LOVIT says:

    Superbly written. From the first word to the last you had me in your spell. You took me in and carried me through to an exquisite close. Just wanted to let you know how great a short piece written was enjoyed.

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