"Everytime I turn around…I see the girl who turns my world around…"
As an official product of the 80’s, there are many people, places, and things to which I could attribute my MONUMENTAL success.
{read: not a homeless heroin addict…yet}
A plethora of life lessons were bestowed upon my young mind in the 80’s. We learned mechanical things are dangerous and may blow up (Challenger or Chernobyl anyone?), and that Regan wanted us all to “just say no”. Meanwhile Cosby taught us that no amount of medical school, or racial stereotype challenging can make you fashionable.
For Rosie, no single figure, event, or fad of that decade was more influential than a little pigtailed, freckled face gal who went by the name of Ms. Punky Brewester. Everything I needed to know I learned under her rainbow. Let’s review her life lessons:
- SURVIVAL: You will suffocate and die a horrible death if you hide in an abandoned refrigerator. {Bet Cherie is thanking her lucky stars she had a best friend like Punky}
- FRIENDSHIPS: Who’s going to be there for you when you are left abandoned in a shopping mall? Your mom? HELL NO! But Brandon the Wonder Dog will! Also, be sure to have a token rich WASP and one token African American in your friendship circle}
- FASHION: Nothing says “I’m fashion forward” than pigtails and mismatched rainbow clothes. Enough said. {Dr. Huxtible should be paying attention here}
- DATING…Find a lonely old man to take you in and support you. {Don’t forget to keep a young teacher on the side…a la Mike Fulton}
Soleil Moon Frye took her job as a role model to young girls everywhere SERIOUSLY. Thanks to Soleil’s inspiration, Rosie is no longer plagued with…well…big breasts. Like Soleil, I chose to go under the knife and make my burdomsum bosom’s history. So to my rainbow clad childhood icon I say:
“I learned it from watching you Punky, I learned it from watching you.”
SHUT THE HELL UP! You went under the knife to eliminate the "buxom bosom"? . . . . I go tomorrow . . . can anyone say "Scared shitless"?!?
ps – great post – giggled my way through.. I loved the pigtails… kinda why I keep my hair long I think. . .
I loved Punky Brewster, this post is hilarious. Good luck to anyone under any knives for any reason!
Tee: good luck…best decision of my life…{well I'll put it in the top five}
And thanks to Soleil for helping me through many a night during adolescence…
and that's just a preview of the things you'll learn about tomorrow, people…
mmm. I think Soleil had that effect on ALL of us.
Awhile back, in response to reaching some nonsense Twitter "milestone," Soleil dressed up in her Punky outfit and recorded a video for her followers. I'm pretty sure that the term EPIC FAIL has never been more appropriately used than to describe this: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/2082412
that was the exact OPPOSITE of "Punky Power"…just sayin'