“Best Deconstruction of Gender Norms” For those of you who expect childless thirty-somethings to be in the “Sure, I want to have kids some day” boat, I offer up: Bestie #21. Tick-Stop, a.k.a. I Broke My Biological Clock Writing This* Although I have not a bit of “scientific evidence” to back up the following claim, […]
Not only am I admitting I have a problem, I’m begging Horatio Caine to allay me of the symptoms.
Given my mother’s encouragement, my father’s diffidence, and an apparently overwhelming acceptance by the small community where my parents had landed after it was no longer “dope” to live out of your van, my voices and I should have thrived during the shift from adolescence to pubescence. But what is tweendom without rebellion? I locked myself in a room with Ted, Darby, and Mr. K. and ordered them to stop influencing me. “I’m normal now,” I told them, “but you’ll always be in my heart.”
Don’t pick your nose. Seriously. We’re not sitting in traffic. We’re not old men sitting in our worn out recliners. We’re in a POETRY READING. You may not know this, considering you are the nose-picking type and all, but poetry is actually sort of a sophisticated thing.
Dear Mr. Noonan: I have some of your mail here. Apparently, you’ve won $10,000 dollars!!–all you have to do is call 555-432-8789. Also, a brand new car waits for you at the dealership down the street. Oh, and if you’re in need of a job, there’s a fantastic work-from-home opportunity that you don’t want to miss out on!!
“Hey, remember that time we died? That was awesome.”
As an official product of the 80’s, there are many people, places, and things to which I could attribute my MONUMENTAL success. {read: not a homeless heroin addict…yet} A plethora of life lessons were bestowed upon my young mind in the 80’s. We learned mechanical things are dangerous and may blow up (Challenger or […]
Now that I have your attention, truth be told, I am in fact, NOT in a relationship with Mr Poopoopachu. But it got you reading now didn’t it? Wow, you little voyeurs, you. In no way is it a dynamic revelation that social networking has changed present day society as we know it. (Don’t believe […]