Best of 30POV: Reality Resume

May 25, 2011

“Most Surprising Consequences” Many of us have knowingly written about things we probably shouldn’t, and many of us have boldly written about things other people probably wouldn’t.  But I think Bestie #25 {may} be the only post that should’ve been written but still got the writer in big trouble. Reality Resume* My dad.  Business and […]

Molly Millions as Mary Magdalene

March 24, 2011

A year later at an upper west side arts fair, I stopped at a table filled with silver judaica objects and an Israeli woman struck up a conversation. I told her I’d been to Israel somewhat recently. She smiled brightly and said in a poetry voice, “Didn’t you feel so special there.”
I thought about just being nice, but instead I was honest and said, “No. Not really.”

Low Country Ladies

February 24, 2011

Always nearby, always interested in how I was doing. Always curious about the progress I’d made that day, and what I might get into the next day. Available for endless conversations about our projects, eager to discuss their own. They carried a unique femininity, and an unimposing wisdom. They were a reminder that women of a certain age can be many things, in many ways.

A Tangled Perception

January 24, 2011

I’m angry, really. I’d assumed we’d made some progress. I’d figured Disney had been forced to extend itself beyond the basics. That somewhere in a Disney board room is a woman who fought to sit there…I guess I’ve given someone too much credit.

What We Bring

December 24, 2010

So, now I’m thirty-one. A very weird age that’s both the beginning of the end of my youth and the beginning of I don’t know what. I suffer effects from some of the same weaknesses that plagued my youth. Though I’m pleased and relieved to report, it’s now a much, much quieter and less devastating affair. But these things are there, taking shape in adult ways. As my adult mind grows, and it does ever grow, the things that are so-to-speak “wrong” with me, just fill the space. Adaptable fuckers. I guess that means if they were an element, they’d be water. The rest of me is definitely earth. Which makes sense, because the landscape of this particular consideration is mud.

Relationship Status: Other

November 24, 2010

Historically, marriage is so much shuffling about of women from daughterhood to wifery to motherhood, and hardly at all about a woman’s own legacy or personal happiness. This is the history of the thing, and despite what it’s supposed to mean to me today, in the twenty-first century, its ancient and historical implications, matter to me.

Trying To Be Good

October 24, 2010

This morning the clouds were wispy and romantic, watercolor cantaloupe colored edges with deep purple bellies. She looked up. Thought she might like to be something brand new. Step into a waterfall, she thought, and have new wash her off. Be a vessel, emptied.


September 24, 2010

At some point, though, being “who I am” became a liability. That’s when Sundays became a day of quiet torture in dread of the coming week. As the company changed, I realized that people like them don’t want people like me. I hate to be so general. Broad strokes almost never work, but to explain simply and tersely, in an environment where plain conversation is regarded as “pushing back”, this pushy broad was not thriving.

Reality Resume

August 24, 2010

The vet’s kids. All three of them at once, nice cute little blonde kids, in the bath together. Showed them how to blow bubbles in their hands with soap. Convinced them it was real magic, for real, and that they were each magicians, too. They figured it out. Screamed, because they never knew they were magicians before.

It Has Its Down Sides, Too

July 15, 2010

I think on it, and as the doors open at my floor I shrug and say, “It has its downsides, too.” I step off and look back, and as the doors close between us I see the look on her face. Perplexed doesn’t begin to describe it. It’s something – despair, maybe? – mixed with confusion, and she says, “Like what?!” It’s too late, though. The lift brings her to her office upstairs, where she’ll go through her workday and wrap up around five, and leave in her gym outfit, walking quickly through the unforgiving streets of New York in spandex pants, never knowing what it feels like to be mocked openly for being fat by any stranger who’s had a bad day, or worse, to be ignored altogether as if she isn’t even a woman.

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