FUN with Correlative Conjunctions

September 20, 2010

When I saw this month’s subject, I must admit, at first I was a bit perplexed. I had a few decent ideas, but hardly anything worth writing about–such is the case just about every month.  While pondering all the possibilities, I stumbled across an old familiar term: Correlative Conjunction. Whereupon, I instantly flashed back to 10th grade English class and could all but smell her horrible, corpse like breath. (Yes I am aware corpses dont have breath, as a rule. Cut me some slack Jack.) Mrs. Scagnelli–I couldn’t make up a better name for her; she was a mean woman, with a repugnant personality, or lack thereof. And the world’s WORST breath. (We used to leave Certs and Breath Savers on her desk all the time; bitch couldnt take a hint.) I remember covering this back then, and realizing that these pairings of words are what allow us to add color to our everyday speech, to make comparison, and to lay out information in an easy to understand way.

So I decided why not have some fun with it? I have listed below some situations in which you could use these pairings to add to the good times.  Examples are provided free of charge.  Give mine a read through, and please, feel free to leave some of your own in the comment section.

Example 1 Perhaps you would like to in an impudent manner, convey your true thoughts about an Ex’s newest significant other.

both … and  – Actually, I find your new companion to be both a complete shitbag, waste of air and socially inept, much like a chimpanzee that ate too many lead paint chips. So in retrospect, you are perfect together.

Example 2: In this example we use our correlative conjunctions to express out dismay over Darcy’s unfortunate family situation.

what with … and –  Darcy is fucked no matter what dude, what with all her aunts, uncles and cousins being defective rednecks, people assume she is going to marry her cousin.

Example 3 The pairing of ‘rather and than’  is a wonderful tool for expressing your most intimate thoughts, in a straightforward and direct manner.

rather … than  – I would rather dig my eyeballs out with a one-thousand degree spoon than spend 2 minutes listening to these racist, religiously intolerant Tea Party activists.

Example 4 You can also use Correlative Conjunctions to foreshadow, or predict an outcome.

If … Then   –   If I turned in my monthly piece on the 10th like I am supposed to, then Lee Lee would probably have a fucking stroke.

Example 5 You can also use them to point out what to many people seems like an impossibility.

not only … but also  – The facts remain, not only did I take too many drugs as a younger person, but I also still remained a productive and successful member of society.

So there it is, I hope you all have fun with this little exercise, and like I said before, please feel free to use the comment section below to add to this list.

5 Responses to “FUN with Correlative Conjunctions”

  1. llxt says:

    Be still my beating heart… Grammar goodness! If only my students were this creative with their assignments…

  2. WreckedUm says:

    Any post that is even a veiled fuck you to the Tea Party is all good with me.

  3. The Tailor says:

    Hats off to a fellow grammar snob.

  4. disperse says:

    This month's theme has this sorted. Last month's theme was black, with black and black.

  5. nelly May says:

    It would be even more interesting if you were able to present this in a manner that not only doesn't utilize base, negative language, but also enlightened with clever repartee.

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